To those of you who know me, it may come as no surprise to hear me say that one-night stands can be spiritually enriching. There’s a lot of bad press about jumping into and then out of a stranger’s bed when one has no intention whatsoever of a repeat performance with the same person.
It’s only fair that in the interest of balance we consider the spiritually positive — and positively spiritual — aspects of those one-off, never-to-be-repeated shags. Obviously, there must be something to be gained from these liaisons, otherwise nobody would bother with them. And obviously, any sex-related activity that can be mystically enriching is worth taking a closer look at, so we can recognise and appreciate the beauty in the act!
First and foremost, every time you have a one-night stand, you get to start afresh; all your previous sexual baggage becomes irrelevant.
You come to the union as a brand new adult, straight from the hot-totty conveyor belt of shaggability. You can be whoever you want to be, sexually, because your sexmate presumably knows no different and has no expectations. You may have a saggy butt, your hair might be a total mess, and mid-engagement you may notice your armpits smell a bit, but so what? And if you fanny-fart mid fuck, or soak the sheets when you squirt, no need to explain.
This is a one-hit wonder, and it’s all about now and not anxieties about later.
While this is how most of us might like to be, the misapprehension that we are not sexually awesome is unhelpful luggage that haunts many of us constantly. Wouldn’t it be nice if, as individuals, we could recognise ourselves as magnificent sexual beings, unconcerned about our looks and bodily functions, ready to try new positions and different routines, if and when we chose?
With a one-night stand all this is possible.
You can be baggage-free, up for fun and full of confidence, without excessive concerns about what the other person thinks, because, quite frankly, they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t find you hot and desirable in the first place. Thus, the opportunity is created to experience our existence and actions as they occasionally can be, and we can have care-free, highly enjoyable and unifying connectedness, that is food for the body and soul, while — with a bit of luck — the overworked mind gets to take a short holiday.
Letting Go of Wanting More
Accepting that this is a one-off occurrence that may never be repeated with the same person again — no matter how sexy and desirable they may be — can be incredibly freeing.
Connecting unexpectedly and taking an intense – though possibly brief sexual journey may surprise you both into total enjoyment, particularly if you know this will not be happening again.
In my experience, these factors mean that something can open up, and sex can become spiritually and emotionally voluminous.
Being wrapped in a cosmic blanket with another soul, and rejoicing in the vibe of the spiritual intermingling of feelings and sensations, is mind-blowingly beautiful.
When there is no room for improvement and absolutely no desire for repetition, there is space to be encapsulated in the web of merging tantric paths, and all the while your attention can remain fully and completely present.
To be able to put all of one’s intentness on one exercise, with no effort at all, and at will, is a gift.
I don’t know about you, but I love it when those moments occur, maybe while reading a good book, doing yoga, riding a bike, alighting a plane in a different country, or, indeed, having sex. All of these experiences can take up my entire being. I adore being absorbed in the present and letting go of the past and the future — neither of which actually exist anyway!
What I am trying to say is that the true nature of the one-night stand is total contentment, because you don’t think about what has been or what might be, and you don’t want for more.
I think we can all agree that if more sexual unions were like that, there would be a lot more smiling going on out there!
The Nature of Unselfish Giving
Last but certainly not least, one-night stands can be an exercise in learning to give for the sheer pleasure of giving. As well as receiving pleasure yourself — be you the doer, or do-ee — you know that you are party to the sexual satisfaction of your temporary partner and you are making their life, in this very moment, more enjoyable, more fun, and more satisfying.
Aren’t we lucky that as humans we can knowingly provide this divinely gratifying service to each other?
You can actively choose to give without having any expectations about ‘return payment’ and you can leave the scene knowing you’ve made someone orgasmically happy, and — if things went really well — even helped them connect with their divinity.
When we create happiness and fun for others, in whatever small (or big) way we can, we help to make the world a brighter, warmer, more caring planet.
Naturally, these highlights, don’t just apply to the carnal aspects of our lives. Just as one-night lovers are transient, so are the lessons we can learn from them.
Coming to each new situation as baggage-free as possible, letting go of wanting more than we have right now, and being able to give because it feels good to do so, are all attributes to which we can aspire in our regular, daily pursuits.
I’m not suggesting you jump up from the breakfast table right now, fling your jacket on, and immediately go out in search of that mysterious stranger. But if providence puts the opportunity of positive sexual-energy work in your path, why evade or avoid it? A chance meeting — be it engineered or accidental —might lead to a delightful sexual adventure, and that might be, overall, a very, very good thing.