Connection & Communication

How to Introduce Your Partner to Tantra (Without Making Things Worse)

Sofia Sundari
Written by Sofia Sundari

I know how common it is in couples:

One partner gets very excited about something and wants to bring something fresh into the relationship, and the other partner is… well, resisting.

And if you have felt into Tantra, if you have got intrigued, if you have felt there is something in it for you, something that can possibly create a lot of magic in your life….

If you have been following my work for some time and got inspired by my content and you have the desire to try it out…

And one day you approach your partner and share about it, but they express no interest in it what so ever, or they even tell you that it’s a bunch of nonsense and you shouldn’t even try it by yourself.

I cannot explain how common is this situation!

So What to Do?

I feel that there is a yearning in the world for Tantra, this magnificent system of self-development which embraces all aspects of life: the light, the dark and everything in between.

Tantra gives us specific techniques that turn our Love and Sex Life into a sacred journey of empowerment and transformation into the best possible version of ourselves.

In Tantra we dive into it all, we open ourselves to it all.

And this is how we become deeply real, deeply truthful, deeply ourselves.

Here are 3 steps:

1. Get Into Tantra by Yourself

Contrary to a common belief you actually don’t need to have a partner to practice tantra.

Many of my students start when they are single (i.e. with a free Masterclass).

Or they come to courses without their partner and gain huge results in terms of uplifting their self-love and self-worth, body image, understanding of their own sensuality, unlocking their own orgasmic potential… to name just a few things.

Once you have awakened yourself from inside, you start radiating this new uplifted state of being.

And your partner is likely to get very curious.

“What is it you are doing?”

Remember this:

The less you re trying to prove – the better.

Be quiet and let your practice and your grace speak through you.

No words will be needed.

Your partner will start asking you questions, wait patiently and know that it will happen!

2. Don’t Overwhelm Your Partner With Information

Better offer a little bit.

For example, you can reach out to them, when they are not busy doing something else, (finding the right moment is gold!) and say:

“Honey, I love you so much, and I think we have wonderful sex.  I feel fulfilled with you on so many levels (very good idea to explain exactly the levels on which you feel fulfilled) and I have tried/read/attended something really special. I feel like it could help us to use what we have sexually together, and add a new dimension to it, it could give us new ways to connect that we haven’t even though about, I feel it could help us make our beautiful sex life a true masterpiece. Does it sound exciting to you?”

After that receive what they have to say.

Really receive.

Listen to the words that they use.

Feel which part of what you were saying really touched your beloved.

And then in your turn speak to that.

Don’t underestimate this!

It is huge.

Offer them exactly what they want, not what you think would be good for them!

If you like to have more guidance here, this might be for you. We have a free Masterclass on Sexual Tantric Rituals this Sunday. Maybe this could be your first Tantric step together. Tantra teacher leads you through a tantric ritual.

3. Opening up to a Teacher’s Authority to Guide You Both

I see that very often in couples one of the partners plays the role of a teacher in certain parts of the relationship.

Sometimes it is fine.

Other times it may become really unhealthy.

And let’s speak frankly, I think we all ultimately just want to relax, drop into a beautiful space of merging and not have to guide anything.

This is actually a big win. 

If you love what I am saying and resonating with my presence, I might be that teacher.

I know at the core of my being that once we shift the way we see and have sex, empower and heal our sexuality, our entire life becomes extraordinary, we finally start Truly Living.

Unlocking our sexual power is The Number One Key to expansion into this wild and beautiful existence.

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About the author

Sofia Sundari

Sofia Sundari

Sofia Sundari is an international tantra teacher. She writes, coaches, facilitates courses on mystical femininity and Tantric & Taoist sexuality.

Sofia invites her students to question beliefs that are deeply ingrained in society but block us from experiencing all of life and being free. These are beliefs about the nature of our sexuality, emotions, relationships, and life in general. This is what most of us believe life and sexuality SHOULD be.
She offers an alternative to confused mindsets and habits and empowers people to align with their Spirit and expand into erotic freedom.

Sofia creates a space in which our darkness no longer shameful, but it actually nourishes our light, where spirituality and sexuality are one.

With 5 years in Asia studying the secrets of Tantra and Taoism and over a decade of training in various healing and spiritual modalities, Sofia has dedicated her life to serving love. Check out the upcoming  Sacred Feminine Immersion on her website Check out Sofia's website