So, here I am.
Wearing nothing but a sarong wrapped around me like a dress, standing eyes closed in a circle of seven other sitting people.
Three men, four women and our teacher, Alexa Mira.
I smell the incents in the room, candles, warmth, feeling my own breath and hearing the silence around me.
Alexa walking around me, stroking my neck with her fingers, touching me gently with her fingertips and making me shiver. A shiver of the good feeling and shiver of nervousness.
I feel an excited tingling in my belly, my chest light and almost flying and the knot of the sarong slowly being opened.
Fully concentrated on my inner feelings, aware that all the participants see me now. See me completely naked and vulnerable standing in the circle.
And yet I feel safe and supported as Alexa is guiding my hand to make me lie down on my belly.
I can relax.
This treatment is all going to be for me.
For me to fully open up into it, for me to fully enjoy it and for me to just receive without any pressure or intention to give anything back.
I’m the model for a private Yoni massage workshop.
Let me start from the beginning
How I ended up here and why I recommend every woman, why I recommend you gift yourself at least once with a Yoni massage.
I want to tell you about my Yoni massage experiences to give you an idea of what you can expect from this practice, what it is, how it feels and what differences there might be.
In a time where Tantra is spreading quickly, becoming more and more accepted and recognized, becoming almost a trend, you might have stumbled over the word Yoni already.
And if you haven’t, it was just a question of time until you would.
Yoni is the Sanskrit name for vagina and means source of life, origin or “sacred space”.
She is described as the gate to universal wisdom, an opening to infinite worlds, ecstasy, and transformation, sacred joy, and connection.
The Yoni is the creative power of nature, the goddess Shakti representing the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe.
Yet by many others, she is described as “down there”, “my…uhm…you know what I mean”, vagina (doesn’t that sound clinical?) or even very rude and degrading as “cunt”.
I don’t know where you are at, how you would name your Yoni, and what your relationship is to her…
I used to be one of the “down there” girls and trying to avoid to give her a name.
Feeling a sense of shame and disconnection
I am still very often surprised and sad to find out how bad the relationship of many women to their Yoni is.
I find shame and guilt.
Some women would not even touch themselves…finding it disgusting or inappropriate.
So why would you even go to someone and pay them to touch you?
And anyhow!…Why should you pay?
There are enough men out there who would touch you for free!
“Massage” your Yoni by penetrating you with their fingers or Lingam, which is the Sanskrit word for penis.
So why the heck would you need a Yoni massage?
Let me quickly give you an overview of some of the many reasons:
- Reconnect to your femininity, to yourself and your Yoni
- Regain sensations and feelings in your Yoni
- Experience pure receiving without having to give anything back
- Feel love and sensuality without any intention or expectation of having sex
- Deep opening and relaxation
- Release of tension and trigger points in your Yoni
- Increase your ability to experience multiple or full body orgasms
- Healing, healing, and more healing
- Release traumas and emotional blockages
- Connect to your higher self and high states of bliss and ecstasy
- Recover from surgery or painful sex
- Increase your energy flow and aliveness
- Boost your mood and nervous system
My journey into the world of Tantric Yoni Massages started with a dear friend, Christiane Kosoul, offering to massage me in exchange for me to coach her.
Feeling excited about my first treatment, I was grateful to have that opportunity.
She started with an amazing full body massage.
Caring, soft, gentle.
I fully relaxed within seconds into her warm and oily hands while feeling them loving my body all over.
Before touching my breasts she would ask for my permission and if I’m ready.
Oh, how I enjoyed that!
No pressure, full respect, and awareness of any boundaries.
I felt all my last tension melt away and agreed also quite some minutes later when she asked me if she could touch my Yoni.
After a long warmup at the outside of my Yoni, I felt her fingers gently go inside me.
Always waiting first to feel that I was ready to receive her more. No pushing or fast movements.
My body starting to go into unknown states of letting-go, my legs and hands feeling dizzy. Slowly feeling her starting to move to a point inside me and just resting there.
The pressure becoming gently a bit more intense, but no movement.
I hear her asking me to relax and to allow all feelings that might come up.
And indeed I feel this huge sadness coming up.
Swelling inside me and starting to run through all my body parts until it finds it’s way out in tears.
Still feeling the pressure on this triggering point in my Yoni.
Being guided to breathe into it, to feel it, to relax into the sadness, to just be with her until eventually, I’m calming down.
Some of the points she touches feel warm and open. Others sore or even burning. And even some others painful and tensed.
A Yoni massage supports you in healing
The second time she gave me that beautiful three hour massage we even went one level deeper.
She found a point where I all of a sudden got surprised by huge anger coming up.
Rage. Aggression. Screaming. Screaming it all out.
And yes! I felt weird!
But just for one second.
And yes again!
It is normal for us to express our feelings fully in a safe space. To scream, to cry and to allow to calm it all down and return to an inner point of peace. I felt so dizzy! Almost like fainting.
High on adrenaline! Colours and vibrations in all of my cells. Something cracked open. Something was allowed to leave my body. Something long stored and hidden.
Some old pain and grief.
All accumulated in that little point in my Yoni.
Isn’t that fascinating?
Can you convert healing into a pleasure?
The next time I got a Yoni massage I was in Thailand.
I got asked by a friend if I would be open to being the model for a friend of hers who was going to get a one-on-one teaching by a very experienced teacher.
What a challenge!
But luckily it lies in my nature to love that kind of challenges!
After asking her a lot about him and meeting him in person, I agreed and we met the next day at the bungalow of the teacher.
Joking about this upcoming Yoni-threesome I felt both our nervousness and excitement. For me to receive and to open up to pleasure and for him to give it in an enjoying way.
I had experienced this beautifully soft and healing massage with my friend before, yet there was no focus on sexual pleasure.
This workshop was all about that
And what can I tell you?
I don’t know where I went, but it was definitely another world.
I had my first orgasm blackout.
Yes…you know, like when you were young and drinking too much and can’t remember anything you did the next day.
At one point I heard them both talking but I had been completely gone.
Gone in bliss or wherever.
Feeling all those different orgasm points and realizing that I was right when I joked about me having way more than only one G-spot. And it makes perfect sense as we women have also an A-spot, K-spot, P-spot and even more.
All those different pleasurable sensations in my Yoni!
In all our Yonis!
And to overcome my own shyness, to overcome thoughts like “what will they think of me?” and be able to fully enjoy and receive was an amazing experience too.
I can tell from a solid ground now, you will reconnect to your Yoni, to all her pleasure and amazing capability to open up.
To receive and connect you to the universe, bliss or however you want to name that state of full body pleasure shivers and orgasms.
Releasing long stored traumas
The latest and most profound Yoni Massage experience I want to share with you is the one that opened up for me after the workshop mentioned in the beginning.
The workshop where I happily agreed to be the model.
To get massaged in front of other people.
To create the opportunity for them to learn this beautiful sacred practice.
To see all the emotions and feelings that it can bring up in the receiver.
Knowing that I can dive deep and forget about the surrounding. Entering easily the space of the vast consciousness and bliss that is so easily achieved with Yoni massage.
My new partner was also in that workshop.
Can you imagine the joy and “torture” for him?
Seeing me, being massaged by our teacher Alexa, spreading oil all over my naked body and finally entering her fingers into me, but he not being allowed to participate 😉
But fortunately, we could practice and go deeper the following days at home.
To work with my emotions that were stimulated while being the model. We didn’t have any plan whether to go more into the healing or the pleasurable direction.
But oh! What came up!
Emotions that were deeply hidden and buried.
Crying, desperation, flashbacks of forgotten traumas, tears.
He held me so beautiful! So strong and understanding.
I could go so deep because we already manifested relationship full of trust.
I could let go and allow myself to fully feel everything that was there.
All coming up to the surface like bubbles, getting bigger and bigger, bursting and finally vanishing.
Resting in his arms and feeling safe.
Being held in love and compassion, while releasing traumas and tensions on a physical and emotional level.
Some tips for safe and enjoyable Yoni Massage Experience:
- Always make sure that you are being asked before the practitioner would touch or enter your Yoni!
- Always feel safe and ready before you agree to something where you are not sure about
- A yes is a yes, a no is a no and a maybe is also a no! Feel free to ask for guidance!
- Use this massage as a beautiful and powerful opportunity to check in how much you know yourself and your boundaries
- Practice to express yourself and to speak up for yourself
- The massage is always without any sexual intention of the practitioner! Even if it is your partner, it is recommended to not have sex straight afterward, but honor the space of the massage, so that you can fully relax and open up without feeling any goal or pressure)
- Feel into yourself if you want to be massaged by a man or woman
- Ask for recommendations and don’t just go to anyone.
Maybe one of my three quite different stories resonated with you.
Maybe there is something that you also want to experience and maybe you are in a happy place where you feel you don’t need a Yoni massage.
Wherever you are, I wish for you and your Yoni to be in a loving and connected relationship. 💚